In our modern world, we revolve much of our lives around social media, where we are bombarded with images on Instagram of perfect homes with perfect organization and cutely dressed babies playing with cutely organized toys.

And then we look at our own homes and mourn our lack of perfect cute playrooms and clean counters. We think, “Tomorrow I’m going to clean this place up, it’s going to look great, and I’m going to keep it that way!”

But then it doesn’t happen. We collapse on the couch after work, and then try to find the energy to play with a needy toddler who’s been pulling on your sleeve for attention, we try to find healthy snacks that our kids are willing to eat because all they ever want is junk, we stare at yesterday’s mess trying to figure out how to get started on the cleanup, and then when the baby finally goes down for a nap, we are either too mentally exhausted to deal with it all, or we get a workout in because health is important. By the time you get your shower in, the baby is awake, it’s time to get dinner started, the dishwasher is still full, and the day is coming to an end.

But listen to me. I want you to know it’s ok. The fact is, most people’s homes are messy. Instagram homes aren’t real, and no one actually spends their day in a neat tidy home that is picture prepped at any moment of the day.

You don’t have to clean when the baby is asleep, it’s ok to take a nap or binge watch The Office.

Do you know how often my home is picturesque? About once a month!

You are not alone Mama, take care of your baby and take care of yourself!

Last year was a long year, and this year is starting to feel even longer.

Being a parent in this pandemic is hard sometimes, but we make do. None of us have gotten sick, so we are very grateful for that.

When our tater-tot first made her appearance in this world, we decided daycare wasn’t for us, partly because we’d seen too many horror stories, and partly because the cost was counterproductive since it would have taken most of one of our paychecks. So we decided we would work opposite shifts so one of us would always be with her.

There’s pros and cons to this. We’ll start with the cons.

When one of us is home, the other is at work, which means we don’t get to see each other that much. And that is a pretty major con. It’s aggravating at best. But I do have a boss who has been very understanding and always schedules one of my off days to coincide with one of his, so we get a whole day together as a family each week. And because my husband is a general manager at his restaurant, he has some leeway and occasionally gets to leave work early so we can see each other before I go to work.

Second con is that because my husband is a GM, he primarily works the day shifts, which means all of my shifts are late night shifts. That gets old fast, because I hate spending my whole day mentally preparing for work.

Third con is that I can’t work very many hours since my schedule revolves around his (his come first because of his position) and sometimes it would be nice to have a bigger paycheck.

Now the pros.

I get to spend all day with the tater-tot. 

I get to workout during the day. 

Any shopping that needs done I can get done (everything closes earlier than it used to)

I get to sleep in! (Tater-tot usually doesn’t get up till 9:30 or 10, she’s a great sleeper!)

Overall, I’m happy with my life as it is, there’s always going to be ups and downs no matter how we get things done.

My husband is a general manager at a restaurant. He works close to 50 hour work weeks. I on the other hand, work 20- 30 hours a week, and mostly at night. It’s nice, because I get to spend most of my day with the little tater-tot.

Even after a long work day, my husband still comes home and loads the dishwasher, mows the grass, cleans and vacuums, etc.

Growing up, I was raised with the concept that women stay home and do housework, and men work and make the money. I’m not so much against this style of living so much as I am pro “Do what works for your family.”

My husband and I have talked about how one day I might not need to work and I can focus on raising our daughter, but for now it’s not a reality. We need both of our incomes to pay bills, and although my husband once entertained the idea of getting a second job when we found out I was pregnant, he didn’t go through with it. 80 hours a week would have meant he would have no relationship with his child.

And so I work, albeit not a lot.

So why does my husband still pitch in after working all day? 

Because we’re a team. And let’s be honest, keeping up with a toddler IS a full time job in and of itself. Toddlers are tornadoes. They sweep through and destroy everything in their path, and they think it’s hysterical. I spend my day entertaining her, trying to find food she’ll eat, stopping her from climbing all over the counters, helping her learn how to match up letters on her ABC game, changing diapers, and so on and so forth. Her nap time is my time to get a workout in, catch up on the messes she made, and get ready for my work night.

And so when my husband walks in the door, odds are he’ll go straight to cooking dinner and I’ll drop on the couch exhausted.

I poste a video on my instagrams about how I save money on diapering with chemical free natural diapers. Just thought I’d share!

https://www.instagram.com/tv/B-PqdYVjZiW/?igshid=1gondph4ju7eg